The Florida Marine Patrol bagged Scott recently. It was like a simple traffic stop, only on the water.
About 9:30 p.m. Scott was making his nightly six-minute dinghy trek across the harbor back to his boat. He had dutifully stuck a little red/green split flashlight up on the front of his rubber inflatable. However, to the Marine Patrol approaching from the rear it appeared Scott was running without any lights at all. Technically, in addition to the red/green light shining forward, he should have had a white light visible from the rear; either that or a single 3600 light on the boat’s highest point. He knew of this regulation, but didn’t believe anyone would be that nit-picky. Acknowledging that the forward lights showed at least an attempt to comply, the patrol sent Scott on his way with a warning.
The following night he repeated his daily trek armed with a bright white suction mount 3600 flashlight. This new light was so bright it ruined Scott’s night vision. So, he proceeded to hold it high above his head and ventured legally across the harbor. Quickly his arm got tired so he tried sticking it to the dinghy, but being lower than the motor and his torso, the required 3600 coverage was blocked from several angles.
Scott had a brilliant idea – there is an advantage to being bald. It was dark enough that from land no one could see how odd this may have seemed. Scott wet the inside of the light’s suction cup and squished it down upon his skinhead. Perfect. Scott now had both hands free, the light was well above everything on the boat, and his night vision was unaffected; he forgot the light was on.
Later, reaching to his head, Scott grabbed the flashlight in hopes of removing it. He tugged, but the light didn’t budge. He tried prying it off at an angle; it didn’t budge. Raising one edge of the rubber lip; it didn’t budge.
Finally with a loud pop the light came off. According to Scott, the top of his head felt like a can of ravioli, for the suction cup had drawn up his scalp in circular ridges that held their shape.
Undaunted he headed to the shower where he noticed that there was something on the top of his head. When he looked in the mirror, he saw directly in the middle of my head the world’s largest, world’s most perfect, most crimson hickey.
-Pat Dwight (Forespar POV)